FAQ: Why (and How) Should I Split the Netflix Accounts in my Divorce?
Is It Overreacting To Worry About Sharing Passwords When I Get A Divorce?
Everyone has different comfort levels. Sharing subscriptions to digital services is an increasingly common part of family and relationship life. When ending a relationship however, it could be an unhealthy tether to your former life. Some people have a more intense need for privacy. Access to an ex’s subscription services, like their Spotify or Netflix, could prompt obsessive behavior. Even if it doesn’t do this, one partner could be uncomfortable with the lack of privacy.
Is This Issue Too Petty to Resolve In My Divorce Negotiations?
It’s true that some issues in divorce boil down to survival (like deciding on spousal support). Downplaying bothersome disagreements can be deceptive however. A lack of trust over smaller things can stall your divorce negotiations. Divorce mediation is a process that acknowledges that solid agreements are founded on respect for each other’s priorities, no matter how small. Often smaller things can be pivotal indicators of how a person is prepared to bend on more serious matters. Tidying up the Netflix subscriptions could be an exercise that models what people want from more serious issues. In addition, digital subscriptions are a part of life that should be taken seriously.
Understanding who pays for what and how to manage even small bills could impact credit worthiness, access to healthcare information, intellectual property that is stored in the cloud and more. In a California divorce mediation, spouses often have complex lives that involve WFH (work from home) arrangements. As San Diego divorce mediators, we keep up with trends in people’s lives that could affect divorce. Unlike divorce litigation, there is no issue too small or personal that can’t be tackled in divorce mediation.
Can We Continue to Share Subscriptions If We Want To?
As more services have moved to a subscription model, it’s become common for people to economize by getting a family plan and sharing their subscription with their spouse or friends. When your lives are about to go in different directions during a divorce, this might need a review. For those who don’t mind sharing a subscription with an ex to save money, divorce mediation is an opportunity to be transparent about your wishes. It is better to come to an agreement that has clear boundaries and flexibility to opt out than to leave subscriptions lingering on. If a spouse has a yearly subscription to a service like Netflix or Spotify, you could agree to share the service until the subscription renews and then go your separate ways. If you want to go on sharing a subscription with your spouse you will need to set boundaries about who pays and what access you have to each other’s accounts.
Some services like Netflix or Spotify could expose exes to their listening or viewing, which might violate emotional boundaries. There are other services, like password management services, where privacy considerations are more material. Should your ex-spouse potentially be able to access your bank accounts? Some subscriptions offer the option of setting up separate password protected profiles. During your divorce mediation you can work with the specifics of the digital accounts that you share and negotiate an agreement that suits your comfort level.
What About Subscriptions That Affect Work?
Say both of you are graphic designers and you want to economize by continuing to share your subscription to cloud services or to software backup services that store your creative work. As these professional software services cost more, this might be a more serious economic consideration than 100 dollars a year for Netflix. It might make sense to keep sharing such a subscription if you trust your ex. There can be grey areas involving intellectual property however. Projects you worked on together if you were collaborators could be stored in the cloud. If one person is the author and has very different intentions for the content this could create conflict. If you had a private server together or share a backup, the discontent could be a simple as just not wanting your ex to be able to see what you’re working on.
Sharing subscriptions can be a serious issue, particularly for people getting a divorce who may be earning money from intellectual property. If your subscription services are for managing work or storing creative assets, you should discuss the value of your creative work with your divorce mediator and figure out how to calculate who will benefit from the work and what you may owe your ex-spouse as part of the community property.
What If Our Friends Are On Our Subscriptions?
Should you kick your friends off your Netflix? Freeloading friends on Netflix Family Plans are a normal part of life for many people. It’s easy to overlook the small expense of sharing a Netflix or Spotify. Things can get complex if you get divorced however. During divorce, people seek support from their friends. No one wants to feel like their ex’s friends are judging them on their viewing or listening habits. You might worry that your ex’s friends are snooping on some aspect of your viewing or listening habits that might indicate a new romance or moving on. Keeping friends on your subscriptions could cause conflict and should be discussed with your partner in divorce mediation.
Our Services and How We Can Help
We are West Coast Divorce Mediators who are highly qualified professional mediators and certified financial planners with psychoanalytical expertise. We take a compassionate and detail orientated approach to divorce. We never do adversarial divorce and assist divorcing spouses to come to “win-win” solutions that avoid the stress, cost and burnout of traditional adversarial divorce.
We evaluate the full marital estate and aim to optimize the community property in divorce by helping spouses to come to innovative and sustainable agreements that will help them thrive in the future. If specific issues impact your divorce such as owning a business, speculative income or intellectual property issues we can help you tailor your divorce to make agreements about how to move forward. Divorce mediation is not a one size fits all process, it is designed to help you come to a resolution about the details of your daily lives that will be affected by the dissolution of your marriage. From sharing professional subscriptions to Netflix accounts, we can help divorcing spouses come to the best decisions about separating their financial and digital lives.
We are a one-stop shop providing a bundle of essential divorce services, from paperwork, court documents and financial analysis, through divorce transition coaching, life coaching and interior design. We assist divorcing couples living in cities like San Diego with busy lives who want the best for themselves and their children. All our mediations are fully confidential. We can mediate remotely or in person, depending on your comfort level and COVID-19 requirements. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA. Please contact us to learn more about our California divorce mediation services.
