Disclaimer: This article does not constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation it is best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.
Are you traveling with your children during the summer? Whether the kids are staying with you for the school holidays or whether you are taking them on a short vacation, a checklist can help you to plan, pack and coordinate with your co-parent. The following questions can help you to make a checklist about what to remember, how to plan and what issues to discuss with your co-parent:
Are you sticking to the Custody and Parenting Plan agreements you made with your co-parent? When you take your child on vacation you will need to stick to the parenting plan and custody agreement you made with your co-parent. Some parents will have specific clauses in their custody agreement relating to travel, vacations and international travel. If you haven’t already worked out details in your custody agreement and parenting plan relating to travel, you can go back and change them with a family law or divorce mediator. If you need to travel on short notice you should make sure that you are sticking to all prior arrangements and getting the consent of your co-parent to travel with your child. If you have custody of the child during specific times (for the summer months for example), you should not travel with the child outside these agreed timeframes. If you need to adjust these time-frames for any reason you can negotiate with your co-parent. The best way to do this is to arrange a mediation session in which you can renegotiate your agreement on amicable terms.
Have you got all relevant travel documentation and travel authorization ready in advance? When you are travelling with your child out of the country, you will need to think ahead about what documentation you need. If your child is under 16 and doesn’t have a passport, the signature and consent of both parents (if you have joint custody) is required to complete the child’s passport application. You will also need to plan ahead to make sure your child can enter and exit the country they are visiting. Countries outside the US often have rules that require permission and/or proof that the child is authorized by both parents to enter and exit the country they are visiting. Travel within the United States is easier, but it’s still not advised to take it for granted that your co-parent is OK with you traveling with the child. You will also need to plan ahead if your child is traveling as an unaccompanied minor
Have you made a plan with your co-parent about the details of where you are and what activities you will be doing? It’s not a good idea to assume your co-parent will be OK with every activity you might have planned with your child. For example if you are adventure sports you should probably tell your co-parent (they might object to whitewater rafting). Your co-parent should be aware of the locations you are traveling to with your child and what you will be doing while you are there. If planning a trip with your child is causing stress to one or both parents it’s best to sit down with an experienced family law and divorce mediator to identify what’s important to you both and how you make decisions that are in your child’s best interest.
Have you checked with your co-parent to make sure the child has all their belongings, sports gear, medical equipment and favorite toys? Your co-parent might be aware of medications and other essentials that your child needs for their trip. It can be important just to make sure you bring a child’s favorite toys or clothes so they feel at ease.
Have you made a plan to communicate with the other parent, by what means and whether you will be out of touch for periods of time? If you are going on a trip with your child you will need to plan when and how to check-in with the other parent. How long is the trip and how often will the child be in touch with them? If it’s a hiking holiday will there be periods you will be out of touch when you are camping? The other parent needs to be appraised of these details so they know what to expect.
Have you agreed on how to speak to the kids about the other parent? While you are traveling with your child it’s natural that they will speak to you about their life with the other parent. It’s important for you and your co-parent to present a united front and not speak badly of each other. If necessary you might need to agree on ground rules about how to speak about each other with your child.
Have you agreed what to do about new partners? If your child is traveling with you it could be that they are spending time with your romantic partner. If your co-parent has any concerns about this, it’s important to talk these out. You might need to agree on ground rules about appropriate behavior around the child and you should make new partners aware of these discussions and ground rules.
Our Services and How We Can Help
At Divorce Options San Diego, we are West Coast divorce mediators and family law mediators who work with couples getting a divorce or divorced parents who need to renegotiate issues relating to their parenting plans and custody agreements.
We help our clients get a child-centered divorce, by reaching collaborative solutions that are in the best interests of the child. We don’t litigate or do adversarial work. We empower people getting a divorce in San Diego, or other cities in California and nationwide to come agreement that can accommodate their situations, even if they are living in different states or perhaps relocating internationally. We often work with couples getting an international divorce to help them negotiate child custody agreements and parenting plans. Divorced parents who are living far apart may need to renegotiate their parenting plans as their children grow and their needs change.
Our West Coast divorce mediators are also qualified financial professionals with legal expertise and psychoanalytical expertise. We help divorced couples come to agreements that are realistic and grounded as well as sensitive to both parents and their children. Our mediations are confidential and discreet so you can be assured of privacy. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA and can mediate in person or remotely at your convenience. Please contact us to learn more about our California divorce mediation services.
