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San Diego Divorce Mediation | Expert Mediation | Call 858-688-4871

Divorce Mediation in San Diego

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Marriage And Finances Advice

Millennial Gen Z Divorce

How Do I Survive Divorce in My Twenties or Thirties?

I’m getting divorced and I’m under 35. How can I fight feelings of failure?

Divorce stigma in society is ever-present. Around 40 percent of marriages end in divorce. Yet people still want to believe in the fairytale. Young people are expected to maintain that shiny image, at least until they are older and the kids are grown-up.

Luckily there is a growing conversation that revolves around honesty about getting divorced young. The statistics show that the highest rate of divorce is in the first 2 years of marriage. The singer Adele, who released her big divorce album last year, sparked conversations about combating feelings of failure when you are getting a divorce in your twenties and thirties. When you are getting a divorce young, there is no shame in seeking help, whether it’s with your mental health, or through a divorce support group or just chatting with friends. It is also now becoming increasingly acceptable to post a divorce registry to ask for help with new stuff for your life after divorce.

What are the issues I need to consider in my Millennial and Gen Z Divorce?

When you get divorced as a younger person, you might not have as many assets. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take your divorce seriously.

As a Millennial or member of Gen Z, you or your ex might have college debt. Depending on how the debt was payed, who cosigned the loan or how the funds were used in your marriage, it could be viewed as community property. If you go to court, you have less choice than if you choose to mediate your California divorce with San Diego divorce mediators. During such a divorce you and your ex can divide your debt and assets in a way that suits you both. You can work out short-term ways of financially assisting each other to support each other’s independence.

With a shorter marriage you might not be entitled to a lot of spousal support. In divorce mediation you can work out a plan that suits you. If one partner has more means and wants to help the other, they can.

Unlike divorce litigation, divorce mediation aims to maximize the community property by utilizing investments and assets, rather than depleting the common pot through conflict.

As a younger person your career and earning potential could be less. This makes it even more important that you choose an efficient, inexpensive process like divorce mediation that usually resolves in a few sessions.

I want to get divorced in a different way, without fighting with my ex. Can I do that?

If you and your ex are both wiling, you can have whatever kind of divorce you want. You can remain amicable, and you can even remain close. You can divorce mindfully and with care, but choose to maintain distance once you are no longer together. In divorce mediation, it is up to you.

At Divorce Options San Diego, we help couples to get a mindful and caring divorce. This is a process that is both pragmatic and emotionally focused. A divorce mediation takes into account your individual dreams and aspirations and helps to come to an agreement about your assets, living arrangements and children that allows you to pursue those dreams.

Most people don’t need to fight with their ex once they are assured they are being heard and their needs and interests are being considered. Divorce mediation focuses on common benefit rather than grievances. In that process both party’s needs are served to the greatest degree possible and spouses often find they can get more of what they want by working together.

I don’t have a lot of assets or a fully-fledged career. How do I take care of myself after a divorce?

When you get divorced older and are fully established in your career, it can be easier to move on and take care of yourself. If you are younger, particularly if you depended on your ex to look after the finances, it can be a struggle. At Divorce Options San Diego we offer additional services like career coaching and divorce transition coaching. Retraining, going back to school, or changing career can all be part of divorce negotiations. For example one spouse might be more willing to support an ex’s career change if it means their ex can earn more to support their children, or can become financially independent sooner by taking a higher paying job.

I am about to be a single parent with young children. How do I cope?

Being a solo parent after a divorce is difficult. On the other hand, some divorced parents report the benefits of increased time to themselves when childcare is divided between with their ex. When you mediate your San Diego divorce with children, making a smart parenting plan is a big part of the process. If you have younger children, childcare costs can be high. The children will also need more supervision while young. Routine is incredibly important for all children, but particularly younger children.

When you mediate your divorce you can work out a parenting plan that means you support each other in maintaining stability for the children. You can become a parenting team, and you may even find that the process of alternating time off and on with the kids can give you the chance to grow as a person, which can help you become a better parent.

Compassionate West Coast Divorce Mediators Helping You Design Your Future

Divorce is one of the most stressful life events a person can experience. It can be hard to imagine a future, but when you are younger, it’s especially important to be intentional about your future. At Divorce Options San Diego we are compassionate west coast divorce mediators who are also certified financial planners who use methods from psychoanalysis, math and design to help you move towards a successful future life. We reframe your divorce as a “win-win” scenario and never do adversarial divorce. We help you and your ex make the most of your community property, and thoroughly evaluate all assets and debts, from real property to more complex assets like intellectual property or stock options. We help you navigate the form driven California divorce process and provide a bundle of services that can support you during your divorce, from divorce transition coaching to career coaching to helping you move or redesign your new space. We use developmental psychology, attachment theory, psychology of grieving and family systems psychology that may be particularly necessary to support young children and their families going through divorce. We assist divorcing parents in drafting multi-phase parenting plans that consider the child’s developmental needs. We ensure your child custody agreements and parenting plans are in compliance with California law. Divorce mediation is a discreet, confidential and caring process that can help you divorce mindfully and move on to a full life. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA and can mediate remotely if you are located elsewhere. Please contact us to learn more about our San Diego divorce mediation services.

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