It’s a misconception that divorced parents morph into stressed out and unsupported “single parents.” Many parents actually enjoy the benefits of divorced parenting. A clear division of co-parenting labour gives parents back time for themselves in-between visits. It can allow both parents room to grow both their personal interests and parenting skills. In a poignant and heartbreaking story here in the Huffpost, a divorced Mom recounted losing her ex and the beloved co-parent of her kids to heart failure.
Q 1. I care about my ex but worry divorce is too adversarial to allow me to have a healthy co-parenting relationship with my ex? Is this possible?
A: The conventional image of divorce litigation is no longer the norm, as many people are choosing divorce mediation and other divorce alternatives. Divorce mediation actively encourages conflict resolution, cooperation (to the extent to which you and your ex desire it), mutual support and benefit.
Q2: How can I work with my ex to accentuate our co-parenting strengths, rather than focus on the flaws?
A: In divorce mediation, you can actively work with your ex on acquiring a conflict resolution skill-set that can help you constructively co-parent. You can also identify your parenting strengths and preferences. Divorce mediation is a collaborative rather than adversarial process, so co-parenting strengths and weaknesses are not going to be used against you to reduce visitation.
Q3: How do I get my ex to support me by working around my schedule?
A: In divorce mediation, your ex has an incentive to support you because collaboration creates mutual benefit The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are experienced in mediating California divorces with couples living in cities like San Diego who have busy schedules and long commutes.
We mediate parenting plans and custody schedules that are flexible and also compliant with California law. One thing to understand is that parenting plans are not set in stone and are frequently adjusted. When your job changes and your children grow, parenting plans change to keep up with your changing schedule.
Q4: What if something happens to me or my ex or we relocate?
A: In the HuffPost story, a marriage that didn’t work out turned into a caring co-parenting relationship. Tragically this was cut short with the sudden death of the writer’s ex. When you get divorced, your co-parent will grow older, may suffer health issues and may even relocate.
At Divorce Options San Diego we often mediate divorces in which national or international relocation must be factored into the parenting plan. Likewise, whenever a major life event happens, like divorce, it is often a good time to update your estate plan. Estate planning decisions about what happens to your children should one of you fall ill can be integrated into your divorce mediation.
It’s Normal to Care About Your Ex
In popular culture, divorce is often framed as a failure or an inevitable conflict. At Divorce Options San Diego, we reframe divorce in terms of mutual benefit and growth. Often the person who is no longer your spouse is still someone you can rely on as a co-parent, a friend, a creative collaborator or a business partner. Whether you are still running a business together, have children together, or merely want to be civil, the goal of divorce mediation is always to optimize mutual financially and to grow emotionally to the extent this is possible. We offer couples the tools to move on both financially and emotionally, so in many cases, it is not unrealistic to think that your co-parenting relationship can be a love story of a different kind.
Who We Are and How We Can Help
At Divorce Options San Diego, we are highly qualified professional mediators and certified financial planners with psychoanalytical expertise. Our West Coast mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure and practical solutions for your future life, even beyond divorce. We promote “win-win” solutions for couples who are getting a divorce. We never do adversarial work or divorce litigation. We assist divorcing spouses to craft a sustainable future for themselves and their children. We are a full-service firm that can help streamline the documentation process and assist parents in building child custody agreements and divorce settlement agreements that are in full compliance with California law. We also offer services like life coaching, divorce transition coaching and interior design. If you are divorcing with children, we can help you build parenting plans that will withstand the challenges of parenting, even if the national or international location is involved. As a full-service divorce mediation firm, we help you navigate the form-driven California divorce process. We secure the process so that even if a change is made, the court will be informed in the correct manner. At Divorce Options San Diego, we prioritize a collaborative, peaceful child-centred divorce. We can work with children’s developmental level and parents own conflict issues, needs and goals surrounding parenting. The mediation process is 100 percent confidential. We can do mediation in person, or remotely, as desired. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA but can do mediation at your convenience using telephone, video-conferencing apps and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us [link to contact page] for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.