When divorcing couples live in a large city like San Diego, it’s relatively easy to part ways and start their new lives as separate individuals. Newly single ex-spouses have greater freedom to explore opportunities they may not have considered when they were married. However, if they have a child, it’s more complicated. How do you take opportunities and balance your needs with your responsibilities as a co-parent? In divorce, as in marriage, sacrifices may still be required for the good of both of you (and your child), but there are ways to have more of what you want and still be a responsible parent.
In mediation, working together gives back ownership of the divorce process to you both. You can decide how you co-parent, with the caveat that your child comes first. Location is a key factor in what’s best for your child. School districts can determine a lot. And what if your child already has a budding talent for something a certain school doesn’t cater to, such as sports or dance? Location will be very important in these decisions. The good news: mediation can help. When they work with experienced divorce mediators, San Diego couples can make these decisions together in a way that benefits the whole family. Often, these choices are more a matter of sensibility and logistics than anything else.
Being There for Your Child—Literally!
If you have the option of staying closer to your child, that may be preferable. If you’re living in a big city like San Diego, staying close may be more convenient. When you’re relocating completely, your parenting arrangement will be uneven. If you’re close by, it’s 50/50, but how close should you be? You don’t have to be next-door neighbors with your spouse (or live in the same house, as is all too common in modern divorces these days), but you may have to be careful not to promise a co-parenting arrangement you can’t deliver on. You don’t want to be the stereotype of the mom or dad who misses the child’s school play. These decisions call for quite a bit of compromise and, often, some sacrifice. If parents need to stay within the same part of the city for their child, these deals must be made taking into account both parents’ jobs. Who is the higher earner? Who has the longest commute? Who has the dream job that’s irreplaceable? Divorce Options San Diego uses proven conflict resolution strategies such as game theory to help you see your choices in the light of mutual benefit. As long as you can make your self-interests work for you and your child, a compromise can be found.
Putting Your Child’s Education & Outside Interests First
When deciding where to locate for your child, education is usually a top priority. There may be other concerns, such as whether the area is safe and child friendly or whether your child’s friends live there. The problem is parents can have different ideas about what constitutes a good education. Some parents may want their child to have private school education. Other parents may prefer public schools.
Then there are after-school activities. Depending on the age of your child, the school’s focus may need to line up with what the child wants for his or her career or college education. The child’s after-school activities, if they’re in a different location than the child’s school, may need to be considered in terms of your new location. Again, these decisions can involve differing values, from ideas about parenting (how much you want your child to work at his or her favorite activity and how much you’d like to see him or her just be a child), to social, political, and religious ideas about the kind of school your child attends. At Divorce Options San Diego, we tackle these choices on a number of levels, both practical and emotional. We can use psychoanalytical know-how to help you make decisions that are a reflection of your values, supportive of your co-parent, and in your child’s best interests.
Using Our Mediation Services: How We Can Help
At Divorce Options San Diego, our mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure, and practical solutions for your future life, even beyond divorce. We are highly qualified professional mediators and certified financial planners with psychoanalytical expertise. Contrary to the stereotype of the traditional conflict-ridden divorce, we focus on mutual benefit. We reframe divorce as an opportunity to generate creative, optimized solutions for your future and your children’s future. We empower divorcing spouses to own their divorce and craft sustainable, effective mutual agreements that will last long after the divorce is finalized.
We are a one-stop shop providing a bundle of essential divorce services, from paperwork, court documents, and financial analysis through divorce transition coaching, life coaching, and interior design. We cater to those with busy lives who want the best for themselves and their children. We can help you with all aspects of your post-divorce life, including finding schools for your children and managing the challenges of balancing parenting and career. If appearing in person is difficult, we can mediate remotely, which can be helpful when ex-spouses have relocated or homemakers and full-time workers have different schedules. You can mediate with your spouse in the same room or not, depending on your comfort level.
San Diego Divorce Options puts a high premium on a peaceful, child-centered divorce. We use developmental psychology, attachment theory, psychology of grieving, and family systems psychology to help you and your children through a difficult emotional transition. We can assist you with the tools to stay connected to your child even if you aren’t the primary caregiver. With our expertise and experience in divorce mediation, San Diego couples can be confident in our 100 percent confidential process and rest assured their divorces will be handled with care and privacy. We emphasize an efficient process that leaves you free to get on with your life and care for your kids and yourself, both during and after your divorce. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but can work with you remotely if necessary using telephone, video conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at (858) 281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help with your divorce mediation.
