Generally, there are five emotions spouses go through during the divorce process. These emotions typically grow into more nuanced feelings, and the transitions aren’t smooth from one stage to another. It’s common for a person to revisit each stage more than once. The emotional recovery will take a long time, and it will be difficult both during and after the divorce, so try to take a break and move through it at your own pace. The professionals from Divorce Options San Diego, the experts in divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on for an alternative to contentious, disrespectful, and costly divorce proceedings, offer the following list of the five emotional stages of divorce and some suggestions as to how to handle each of them.
1. Denial
This stage is basically telling yourself that nothing is wrong to keep from getting emotionally overwhelmed. It’s a useful way to cope, but don’t allow it to prevent you from making progress. Use denial, but don’t abuse it in a way that no longer benefits you.
2. Anger
This is the stage where you’ll blame your ex for just about every problem you’ve ever had in your life. Anger isn’t something you should avoid, though. Its presence fuels creative thinking and resolution, so welcome it and make it work for you. Try to let all your grief and frustrations out and leave them behind you. This way, you’ll feel better and be able to move forward from the denial stage.
3. Bargaining
Here, you’ll try to repair and undo the damage done. Bargaining is an effort to halt the apparently unending grief and get back to an enjoyable life. There’s a good chance you’ll get through this stage more quickly than the denial and anger stages. It’s really an opportunity to come to terms with the divorce so you can make good decisions for the future. Remember that your ex will go through this stage as well, which should provide you with some degree of comfort.
4. Depression
You’ll be feeling a great deal of sadness at this stage. The sadness develops during the other stages and crescendos at this point, and depression becomes constant and pervasive. It’s only natural to feel this way. Surround yourself with a strong support group of your family and friends to help you get through some of the dark feelings that will plague you at this stage. Don’t be afraid to shed some tears. Also, talk it out with your support group and consult with an expert to process these negative emotions. Get plenty of exercise, too. Playing team sports is one of the best activities for depression.
5. Acceptance
Here you’ll begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel and look forward to the good life ahead of you. Some sadness and anger are probably still lurking inside you, so remember you’ve made it through major adversity and grown stronger as a result. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have negative feelings like regret or loss and that you aren’t a prisoner of grief any longer. You don’t deserve to be held back from living a good life.
Divorce is almost always an emotional rollercoaster, so knowing what to expect in advance can help a great deal as you go through the process. Another fantastic way to deal with your emotions is to bypass hiring conflict-focused attorneys and choose instead to work with experienced divorce mediators. San Diego couples can benefit enormously from the expertise of the team at Divorce Options San Diego. With backgrounds in law, finance, conflict resolution, and psychology, we empower couples to dissolve their marriages with respect and mutual satisfaction and move on to the next stage of life with optimism. To learn more about our revolutionary divorce mediation process, give us a call today at (858) 281-2628.
