Filing for a divorce often feels like a last-ditch effort to preserve some type of civility when a marriage has reached a boiling point. In some cases, one partner wants a divorce, while the other is hoping the whole thing will blow over. While you may not be able to stop the divorce, you do have options for making things better. In most cases, seeking a divorce doesn’t save the marriage, but you might be able to use this process to improve your relationship.
Why Spouses Choose to Seek a Divorce
There’s no easy way to know if filing for divorce could save your marriage, because spouses decide they want to get divorced for many different reasons, and what’s acceptable to you may or may not be forgivable to someone else. In most cases, the time to try to save your marriage is before you start the divorce process.
Mediators are experienced in helping people work out their differences and reach mutually satisfactory agreements. When they’re thinking of hiring divorce mediators, San Diego couples who aren’t sure they want to divorce should seek mediators who also offer marital mediation services for couples who may want to stay married. Marital mediation (which isn’t the same as marriage counseling) is practical and goal oriented, and it often results in clearly written agreements that keep marriages intact and provide for easy resolution if couples decide to divorce in the future.
Divorce Options San Diego’s marital mediation service focuses 4–12 weeks of meetings with our clients to see if they can save the marriage. If they cannot, then they’re better prepared to go through the divorce in a good way.
Understanding What Happens if You Try to Work Things Out
In some cases, going through mediation does cause one or both spouses to suddenly question whether they really want to get divorced. If this happens in your situation, your mediator can suspend the process of reaching a divorce agreement while you and your spouse evaluate the progress you’ve made so far. It’s also common for couples to change their minds again and wind up back in mediation. The mediator will already be familiar with your issues and concerns, so you can pick back up where you left off.
Ways to Accept a Divorce You Don’t Want
Most people who get married believe it will last forever. It’s normal to be upset about a divorce, and you may wish it wouldn’t happen for a variety of different reasons. Going through a divorce you don’t want is painful, but there isn’t much you can do once your spouse is determined to see it through. In this case, your best bet is to find ways to cope with it as positively as you can. Find people you can talk to who will help you work through the process of finding acceptance.
How Mediation Improves Your Relationship
Spouses often find mediation helps them begin to see each other from a more positive perspective. Working with a professional mediator helps you learn positive communication methods you can use during the rest of your relationship. You may still have contact with your spouse after the divorce if you have kids or work together. Keeping your divorce civil helps you look forward to a better relationship that’s no longer as contentious as it was during your marriage.
Couples can benefit enormously from the expertise of the team at Divorce Options San Diego, the experts in divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on for an alternative to contentious, disrespectful, and costly divorce proceedings. With backgrounds in law, finance, conflict resolution, and psychology, we empower couples to dissolve their marriages with respect and mutual satisfaction and move on to the next stage of life with optimism. To learn more about our revolutionary divorce mediation process, give us a call today at 858-281-2628.
