Many people ended their marriages in 2020 knowing that there was no way a live-in relationship with their spouse would survive the rest of the pandemic. Now they are venturing out into a brave new world where lockdown is the norm. Re-calibrating normal is a challenge that divorced people face at the best of times, but when activities like dating can be life-threatening, it becomes even more difficult. Add the responsibility of having kids and there is even more at stake. First, there is the challenge of introducing new adults to your children’s lives. Then there are the objections of a potentially judgmental ex. It’s almost as if you have to justify your dating choices to your ex, even though you are no longer married.
When you are living in a densely populated California city like San Diego or LA, you or your ex may be on high alert about virus risks. Personal choices like dating, which may be necessary for mental health, may also be a source of conflict. So how do you balance your needs, your children’s needs and your ex-spouse’s fears about Pandemic exposure?
Learning to Work with Your Ex if you Have Kids
When you mediate your divorce, you can make a parenting plan that includes all factors that may impact your parenting after divorce. For many, this means having a conversation about dating. Many make the mistake of thinking these issues will just go away. Others conclude that dating has nothing to do with co-parenting. Unfortunately, during the pandemic, your kids are a vector between you and your ex that can pass on the risks of whatever you are doing.
At Divorce Options San Diego, we are compassionate, well-educated mediators and negotiators who work with San Diego couples getting a divorce, many of whom have kids. We work with couples in San Diego and elsewhere who are accustomed to busy city lives, often with large networks of family and friends. These divorcing couples are now facing the challenge of re-adjusting their lifestyles around the COVID-19 pandemic. Mediation not only helps couples to avoid damaging conflict in divorce, it also teaches conflict-resolution skills that can help you manage your ongoing parenting relationship. Mediation is not just about conflict resolution, however. If you can work with your ex, it can be about planning.
When you are a parent, walking away into a life forever free of your ex is not an option. In mediation, parenting plans are not formal decrees handed down by judges. A parenting plan is a living document that can be updated and renegotiated, so long as it is in compliance with California law. If you are already divorced, you might find your parenting plan is no longer working for you during the pandemic and may want to renegotiate.
A parenting plan can include everything that is relevant to your divorce, including the kitchen sink. Issues can be highly practical or logistical, or very often a combination of both. At Divorce Options San Diego we are trained in psychoanalysis as well as being financial and legal experts. Accordingly we are mindful that even the most mundane details of divorce can have emotional significance. Pandemic safety is one example of an issue that can combine fears of virus exposure with resentment about a spouse’s dating behavior. We can help couples make plans that set boundaries that protect your personal life, while at the same time committing to safety. Ex-spouses can agree to get tested regularly for example or agree to protect elderly parents by informing each other of risks, and exposure. In addition, Divorce Options San Diego can help you help your children adjust to personal choices like dating, depending on your children’s developmental age.
Our Services and How We Can Help
The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are caring, well-educated mediators who are skilled in applied financial mathematics, the law psychoanalysis, and game theory. We are familiar with the challenges facing families and parents in the West Coast area in cities like San Diego, CA and Santa Clara, CA. We strive to efficiently comprehend your situation and its opportunities for sustainable and agreeable resolution. This may include a review of your parenting plan, spousal support calculations, community property equalization, settlement agreement, and all other aspects of your case. We can either confidentially present you with a private analysis, or mediate the conflict with both of you until resolved. Any resolution you come to will be informed by a deeper analysis of the conflict that can be psychoanalytic and/or more financially-focused. Conflict analysis can result in a more optimized understanding of the net community property, which adds value to the overall estate, benefiting you both. At Divorce Options San Diego, we are a full service firm who can help you complete important documentation and manage other aspects of your divorce and divorce process. We can streamline the process to include whatever necessary documentation is a prerequisite for agreements, such as homeschooling documentation for co-parenting arrangements during the pandemic. The sooner you can resolve your conflict, the sooner you can begin to craft a sustainable future for you and your children. We work with individuals from several cultures and countries, and can help with national and international relocation issues associated with divorce. Our safe, socially distanced mediations can be facilitated by Telephone, Zoom, Facetime and other videoconferencing tools. We are available 7 days a week and at urgent notice. Please contact us to see how we can help.