You might think a second marriage would be destined to last, since couples tend to have learned a few things after getting divorced once. However, second marriages are more likely to fail, which can sometimes surprise people who discover they’re headed for another divorce. Although there’s no single reason subsequent marriages are at greater risk for divorce, there are some challenges that commonly occur when people get married for a second or third time. The team from Divorce Options San Diego—professionals who are transforming the divorce process with expert divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on for customized divorce solutions—offer this analysis of why second marriages often end in divorce.
Some People Remarry Too Quickly
Divorces can sometimes take so long that people begin dating during the process or shortly after, often leading to early remarriages that might occur before people have time to fully heal. Bringing negative energy into a new marriage may cause more strife than might be present if a couple waits a little longer.
Second Marriages Often Involve Children from First Marriages
Many people who get remarried have children from their first marriages. Children can naturally bring joy to a new marriage, but there can also be issues with blending families. Young children may require more care than new spouses expect. Older children may resent new stepparents, and this can lead to issues with discipline.
Other People Generate More Stress
Second marriages tend to have more people involved. For instance, there might be an ex-spouse who visits the home regularly to see the children, which can sometimes generate issues such as resentment and jealousy. Some divorced individuals are still friends with their former in-laws, or their own families may wish they’d never gotten divorced. Dealing with so many other people’s thoughts about their previous and current marriages can be upsetting enough to cause couples to argue.
People Don’t Do Necessary Psychological Healing & Growth Work
In a contentious divorce, a person might put all the blame on his or her spouse and view the divorce as something that must be done to eliminate all the problems the other person caused. A person with this viewpoint might not do the emotional work he or she needs to do to find out how he or she contributed to the divorce. The main reason second marriages fail is because new spouses haven’t done their psychological healing and growth work. Once entering second marriages, they may just continue to do the same things, leading to the same ending as the first marriages. Thus, second marriages are set up for failure. Third and fourth marriages are even worse.
Divorce Might Feel Less Scary
People in first marriages may be afraid of getting divorced, which can cause them to put off ending those marriages for as long as possible. By the time they’re in their second marriages, people have been through the process and realized it doesn’t have to be as bad as they’d feared. During second divorces, people already know what didn’t work the first time around, and they may be likely to choose mediation to keep things civil. Although no one typically wants a second divorce, knowing what to expect makes it easier to decide to end the marriage.
All the practical, legal, financial, and psychological aspects of fair, respectful divorce agreements can be managed by Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced, trustworthy divorce mediators. San Diego couples can rely on our comprehensive process, which is so thorough there won’t be a need for attorneys. To learn how we can help you with every facet of your divorce, call us today at 858-281-2628.